This morning’s #3 package contained another case – a very big one and a tire iron. What is The XMAS Bandit up to with all these cases and grappling hooks and now a crowbar? And why over the holidays? Is it because he can get away with more when the average law abiding citizen is enjoying the hustle and bustle of the holidays? It seems he’s always looking for a weakness in others so he can take advantage of that. You know that if Steven Seagal, Deputy Sheriff, was in this town, he would have had The XMAS Bandit flipped over in a nano-second and hauled off to jail on Day2 because he can tell these things about people, with his mind, and the power of Martial Arts. And his nutty hair – but I digress. Plus, he can totally take me, so I’d better stop making fun of him. And his hair hat.
Speaking of weaknesses, The XMAS Bandit has a girlfriend – a rich older snowlady named Joy. Why would such a sophisticated snowlady be interested in a common criminal? Their history goes way back. A few years ago, The XMAS Bandit was “working” with her 96 year old husband, helping him with his “investments”, and while on his deathbed, he got the ailing old man to sign over most of his estate to him. Joy found this bad boy bandit kind of funny and charming. He wooed her and seeing as he now owned her house, she decided to join him in a life of crime – not so much for the money, but for the adventure.