I have to say that today I’ve had three very odd conversations.
1) Someone told me today that they had met someone that had been hit by a truck TWICE. She then went on to explain that that the truck driver drove over this person and then backed up and drove over her AGAIN. I blurted out, “Where the heck was she? Cartoonland?” and then proceeded to crack up. The person telling me this story looked at me very disapprovingly, which made me laugh even more. I certainly hope the alleged driver had his/her license taken away IF this story is indeed true. I’ll tell you, that unnamed author with the unnamed book that Oprah promoted on her show a few months ago certainly has made me question every story I hear now. Also, I had to say something when the storyteller told me I was going to go to Hell for laughing about that.
2) While waiting at the bus stop, a man with a fine collection of pop cans in plastic bags and five o’clock shadow proceeded to ask me where I was going, if I was going home, if I was going home to my “man” (I told him yes, my main man was waiting for me at home and is expecting me very soon. I know it was a lie, but I thought it would stop him from asking me anymore questions, but no…) if I had any kids, if I had any pets…phew, this guy was wearing me down, but then I said, “Yes I have a dog, and she’s old, and she has arthritis, and she has whiskers, and she has crusty warts, and a rash, and sometimes…” And the guy stopped me, “Okay! That’s enough!” and walked away. I felt like I had won! I won the crazy-off with Boxcar Willie! Horray!
3) Lianne at the office came up to me and said, “I think we’ve figured out who’s been leaving “the remains” (she used the finger quotes, I swear.) in the bathroom. She went on to tell me that Phoi-Lihn came out of the washroom and told her, “Eww..that was totally gross. It looks like someone put soup in the toilet.”
Should I go on? Or should I just stop there?
How disgusting an image is that? Soup in a toilet? Also, how does soup end up in the toilet?
PL heard me and Lianne laughing hysterically about this alleged soup situation. Really, we were both teary-eyed and doubled-over. I asked PL what she did when she saw it and she told me she flushed it. “Too bad” I told her, “I always have my camera with me, you know.” More giggles erupted and then someone else in the office said she saw someone washing her dishes in the lady’s bathroom and THAT must have been how the food ended up in the washroom. Very strange as there is a proper kitchen just across the hall. That must be what the person who wrote this note must have been referring to as “remains”.
This will be my new logo:
And I’ll be the Smokey the Bear of soup in toilets from now on:
Remember, only YOU can prevent soup from going in toilets.