We have done nothing for the last 2 days but watch movies under our freakishly skinny, tall Christmas tree. Mike called it “German-looking.”
The only way to show the scale was to include the eye-level hockey poster right next to it. Oscar could really care less. So yay! for us! Good call on making the bottom area of the tree free from temptation for the kitty. Yay!
Here’s a rundown of the movies we watched over the last 3 days:
The Story of Anvil: It’s a documentary about a heavy metal band from Toronto that “should” have been famous in the 80′s, for some reason, they did not. Instead of giving up, however, the band continued to play and play and play, for free, doing crappy gigs, and a wedding. The movie continues to show them trying and trying and trying to support themselves through their music, but all the guys have day jobs at the same time. UGH. So heartbreaking. If you like a good underdog story, this one is a good one. Maybe not so good if you don’t like heavy metal, but still…it’s a movie about perseverance. And that’s all I’ll say.
Tyson: It’s Mike Tyson’s version of his life, so it’s a documentary with him narrating, etc. Even though he was dressed nicely and using “big words” (that he often used incorrectly), he came off scary as hell and I would not want to run into him in a dark alley. My danger radar was pinging the whole time he spoke. He doesn’t really speak well of many women (I don’t think he said anything really nice about any female, now that I think of it) and at the same time, he talked on and on about his virility and all his conquests. Blech. Also, the jail time didn’t really seem to help him, either. What I would like to see, however, is a Mike Tyson VS. Steven Seagal fight now to see who would win. Mike Browne thinks it would be Mike Tyson, but my bet’s on Seagal doing his martial arts and flipping him over on his back. Are you listening, Pay-Per-View?
Shawshank Redemption: Speaking of jails and disturbing content, Shawshank is simply brilliant with an awesome ending. Thank you, Stephen King for that story. Simply. Amazing.
Casino: I forgot how gory this movie is. Scorsese went all out with this one – mobsters killing each other with pens and shovels and ripping off bloody clothes before dumping them in a grave in the middle of a corn field. Yoinks. A great mobster movie, but not my favourite. My favourite mobster move is Goodfellas.
Editor’s note: I got up before my alarm this morning to open up the last cardboard box with the “24″ on it. I couldn’t bring myself to open it last night. I’m very superstitious about turning calendars ahead – I think it was my Grandma Holly who told us it was bad luck to start a new calendar before the year started, so I never put my calendars ahead for any month, just in case. I also never smash mirrors or walk under ladders.
And speaking of unlucky, we now join Joy and The XMAS Bandit in the jail cell…
“Merry Christmas, Joy and The XMAS Bandit! Look what I have for you!” called out Constable Bailey. “Presents!” she giggled.
“On this table you will find everything you need to enjoy your stay at The Slammer Hotel. Today you get a cup, a plate, a toothbrush and some toothpaste.” Zuzu explained.
“What? Do I have to share a toothbrush with him?” hissed Joy.
“Just for now, at least until I find another set of items for you. And don’t think I’m not watching you. You’d better not turn your toothbrush into a shank. I don’t want to see anyone getting shivved in the chow line. Got it?” Barked Constable Bailey. “Merry Christmas!”
“This is the worst Christmas, ever!” shouted Joy. “I hate my crappy jail plate and cup!” she started crying again.
Meanwhile, The XMAS Bandit started making a list in his mind of things to do in jail. He had plans to take correspondence courses so he could get his Law Degree and also to volunteer for the Scared Straight Program. He couldn’t wait to start yelling obscenities at kids in the name of prevention and rehabilitation, “This is prison! We play for keeps!” he thought to himself. “Yah. That’s a good line. I’m going to use that for sure.” And of course, he had to get ready for all his penpal letters. He was going to be busy on the inside.
Sergeant Batista came walking through the area, “I’m glad you’re behind bars where you belong.” He said with disgust. “I have no idea who tipped us off, but I am very glad that he did.”
Constable Bailey agreed, “Me, too. I wonder who it was? Who knew these things about Joy and The XMAS Bandit, anyway?”
Just then, the p0lice heard commotion outside the station. Ensuring the criminals were locked up, they went outside to investigate.
We got this Christmas floral arrangement last week from Max, Carlie, Andrea and JP in Nova Scotia. Thanks, you guys! It made the house feel Christmassy since I was slack getting the tree decorated this year. The best part? The giant cinnamon sticks up top. The house smells amazing of evergreen and cinnamon.
We just finished decorating our tree today – it’s the big one in the background. Phew. Only 2 days before Christmas. What’s up with that? I have no idea. I don’t usually leave it that late, but this year, I did. I’ll take more photos this week, but just know that we were very concerned about the size of the tree in the event Oscar decided to climb all the way up it. We agreed on a smallish tree – about 4-5 feet tall. I picked it up last weekend out in Maple Ridge. I took my time selecting it – I made sure it was light, just in case it tipped over, I could easily put it back up. I picked one with a thin trunk so it was would be easy to put in the tree stand. I had it all covered. I took it home, carried it in the house myself and when I stood it up, Mike looked at me and said, “I thought we were getting a small tree. This tree is about 9 feet tall. I think this is the tallest tree we’ve ever had.”
All I could say, “It didn’t look that tall in the store.”
Well. It didn’t.
We now have the tallest, skinniest tree we’ve ever had. And when we put the star on the top, it bent over like a Dr. Suess tree. I found an angel to put on top instead – she’s working just fine.
Meanwhile, Oscar has shown very little interest in the tree – other than the water in the tree stand. I took Cynthia’s advice and didn’t put any dangling decorations at kitty eye-level. So far, so good.
And so the difficult task of transporting all the stolen artifacts to the P0lice Station began. The Egyptologists were granted special permission to help take the ancient valuables to the c0p shop in an effort to keep them in their current condition. The last thing they wanted was to have the Pharaoh masks thrown in the back of a moving truck like a frat house moving party.
Zuzu blocked the street again and used the most pitiful looking stop sign as issued. “What the heck kind of stop sign is this, anyway? ‘Stop Police’? I don’t think anyone driving by will know that they’re supposed to stop while I’m holding this dumb lollipop sign. Ugh. My new stop sign SUCKS!”
Despite Zuze’s disdain for the new stop sign, she bucked up and held it up as though it was the old, red sign she was used to. She took one for the team on that one.
Also blocking traffic? Sergeant Batista.
“Hey Sarge! Good thing you’re wearing that new motorcycle helmet! I wouldn’t want to have to give you a ticket for not wearing a helmet!” Zuzu joked with him. “Hey, have you paid your speeding ticket yet?” she continued to rib her superior.
“Nice stop sign, Constable Bailey!” Batista yelled back. “Look, I’m Erik Estrada! From “CHiPs”!”
*Please note: the video is a black screen for about the first 7 seconds – I have no idea why. But if you wait until the 8th second, that’s when the video starts. At 45 seconds? Larry Wilcox…and at 54 seconds? Erik Estrada! You can thank me later, ladies.*
Also, you know it’s going to be a good day when you start it off with the CHiPs theme song. Just sayin’.
After the unbelievable revelation that the XMAS Bandit was wanted internationally and built his own pyramid to house his stolen goods, the local Egyptologists were called in to help identify all the stolen ancient artifacts while Constable Bailey and Rocky stood guard. Sargeant Batista came back to the pyramid of pilfered items on his new [...]
These cute little men on Cynthia & Norm’s mantle are: a) Dumbledors from Harry Potter. Just without the tall wizard hats. b) dudes heading over to the jail to bust out The XMAS Bandit. c) Daniel and Henrik Sedin in the year 2050. If you picked the Sedins, so did I! That was my first [...]
Joy sat silently in the Interrogation Room. She pushed the plate of donuts away and sipped the rotten jail coffee. Although it felt like she had been there for hours, she didn’t let her impatience show. She sat with a blank stare. Sargeant Batista walked in. “Joy, we know you’re in on this with The [...]
Joy sat in her fancy hotel room – it was actually a suite – on a lovely fainting couch, watching the great big flat screen TV and ate bonbons. She had been there for a couple of weeks now and was enjoying the room service, the shopping trips and the visit with her family over [...]
Sergeant Batista blocked off the street with the new P0lice barrier so that nothing could go wrong while taking the wily XMAS Bandit in for booking. Rocky stayed close in order to prevent the bandit from trying to escape. Constable Bailey took the set of keys off his belt. “What are these for?” The blubbering bandit [...]
Sergeant Batista called out to Zuzu, “Go find him! I’ll be right there! I just need to grab my new beret, my walkie-talkie and my new Glock pistol! They’re made in Austria, you know.” Sergeant Batista is a gun aficionado – he loves the portable fire arms. Constable Bailey and Rocky ran through the alley [...]
